Ok, guys. This one is going to get personal because I feel very strongly about this particular issue.
Today, a friend of mine posted a Facebook status saying he had the feeling that something bad was going to happen. Well, in the nature of Facebook, some know-it-all couldn’t let that one slide without pretending like they know everything. A rude comment was hastily made along the lines of “you’re making something bad happen to yourself by putting bad vibes into the universe.” What?
Seriously, go fuck yourself.
This line of bullshit is a particular peeve of mine. You know why? Bad things happen to good people all the time and these hippie-dippy assholes would have you believe that the good people are at fault for the bad stuff. I’m sorry, this is absolutely not true.
It doesn’t matter how fucking cheerful and sunny you are. Something bad will happen to you at some point and it is not your fault. You could not have done anything to prevent what will certainly happen. This is just part of life.
I was raped. That’s right, I’m sharing it with the whole interwebs. I was raped. Details are irrelevant, it happened, and it was awful. For years I blamed myself because of being fed bullshit lines like “well, you haven’t made the best choices” and “you get back what you put out in the universe.” Years of hating myself and being utterly ashamed of what happened to me because self-important, happy-go-lucky jerk wads like to tell other people they’re wrong.
I did not deserve what happened to me. I did not bring it upon myself. If a woman says no, it means no. No matter what the circumstances. This was a bad, bad thing that happened to me for no reason. There was no moral benefit or lesson learned from the pain ensued. It happened. The end.
The fact that there are people in the world who want me to believe that if I had just been perkier in life this wouldn’t have happened to me, makes me perpetually angry. Just because nothing bad has happened to you yet, doesn’t mean that it won’t.
Here’s the bottom line, people. Things will happen. Life is unavoidable for the living. There is absolutely no way to prevent pain and suffering. What we can do is keep our heads up. It is our own will and determination that gets us through the trials life throws at us. It’s not a god. It’s not “positive energy.” It’s us. It’s you, it’s me, it’s everyone we love.
As humans, we fall constantly. That’s why someone invented the term “human nature.” We will always stumble, fail and do stupid things. You know what else is part of human nature? Compassion, forgiveness and determination. Those we love will always forgive our shortcomings. We will always find the strength to keep going after something terrible happens. We are human, and we are amazing.
Don’t ever let anyone make you think that you brought pain and suffering on yourself. It’s just part of life. The true test of character is when we work through the bad parts and come out stronger on the other side. Denying that something bad will ever happen to you because of your sunny disposition is just ignorant and childish. It’s also very offensive to people who have had to deal with real life.
Before you say stupid things like that in a public forum, stop and think of all the children who have lost their parents, all the women and men who have been sexually assaulted and all the lovers who have been ignored and denied. It’s not their fault. When you say we can avoid pain and bad things by “thinking positive” you are insulting every single one of those people. You are being rude, thoughtless and mean.
We can’t avoid pain. We can only hold on to the good in life and persevere. Remember, there are people who love you and who would do anything for you. Next time you feel like life is pressing in and you can’t deal anymore, reach out to someone who cares. Don’t let the lies some people tell get you down. They’ll learn eventually.
nerdfancy 